Grand Masti

So far my blog has been filled with a host of good to awesome movies. It’s high time that I chose a movie which I did not like. As always, being the stuck-up prick that I am, I had a host of Bollywood flicks to choose from. But there was a movie which stood out much above the rest. It’s towering load of shit, higher than the one created by Twilight and Glee combined, which stunk my entire following week. Grand Masti.

I do not know what I expected going into a movie like this. My friends convinced me to go to this movie. I reminded them of the colossal pile of cow dung this movie would turn out to be. They applied the same argument that men apply when going for an orgy “It’ll be fun if you have company.” In either case, it’s not entirely true. Like the latter, it turned out to be awkward, frustrating and made me crave for alcohol afterwards. I’m not even going to discuss the story because in order to do so, it has to make a sliver of sense.

The movie is a collection of the dirty predictable SMS jokes put in a random order. The jokes are so obvious and uninventive that you can see them coming miles away. I was literally dreading the jokes to hit me. I was praying the whole time “Please, no, not so obvious. AHH! COME ON!! Show some fucking brains, faggots.” (Sigh) On top of that they add the characteristic tabla roll after every joke. It’s so desperate of the directors whenever they do that. It’s like the script writers were saying “Haha, see? That was clever, wasn’t it? Now laugh, motherfucker.” Maybe, just maybe, if they showed any restraint, I would probably have laughed.

It’s pointless to even mention ‘objectification’ in a movie like this. It’s funny how ‘Munni Badnam’ is female objectification whereas a movie which does not even attempt to show females as real people is not. It’s movies like these which degrade Indian movies and take them back by around 50 years, when a man slipping on a banana and hitting his head on cow dung was funny. (In hindsight, that’s probably still funnier than most of the dated double meaning jokes in this movie.)

Final Verdict: This is a movie not meant for any human being with the possession of a well-functioning human brain and perhaps a sliver of respect for women. A good lawyer could probably accuse this movie of Human Rights Violations and get it banned from public viewing. I sincerely hope that happens. It thoroughly deserves the rating I’m about to give it.

0.0/10